yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
tell me about the eggs
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