I just made out with a guy for $7.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
