Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
