I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
