Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
