So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
