I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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