she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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