hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
They took my balls.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
