I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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