I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My ass is underappreciated
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
