The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
