I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
