i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Dick very happy bro
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
