butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
