Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
