we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
