so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
