Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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