Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Randomize
