she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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