My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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