You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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