omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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