I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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