apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Randomize
