is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
