So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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