Me too!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
