the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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