I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
