do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
