Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize