I'm going to jail i love you
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So many bounce houses so little time
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
