She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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