FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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