someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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