who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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