what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You pole danced in your parka.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
