Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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