Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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