addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I still have a little drunk in my system
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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