what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
