You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
