maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
