You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
