my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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