i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
barbara walters just said penis...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
