My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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