tonight lets celebrate not being married
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
