Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
